Everybody’s Normal (Till You Meet Them)

January 17, 2010 – Service of Ordination and Installation

“Variety,” says the Apostle Paul, describing the Church as the Body of Christ. “Varieties of gifts … Varieties of service … and a variety of abilities.  But the same Lord who is served.”

Varieties. We don’t expect everyone to think or act (or dress) alike in church. Or do we? In Corinth, they did – though not to their credit. Each person thought the best way for everyone to get along was for “all of you” to be more like “me.”

Less variety equals more unity. That was their notion. And it’s why the Apostle wrote a letter to them. To disabuse them of that notion.

Ever seen a soccer match of 6 year olds? A huddled mass of legs and arms roaming recklessly from one end of the field to the other, with a ball in the middle? That’s how the Corinthians thought “church” should be. Everyone running in the same pack.

Like a good coach, Paul wanted to show them “a more excellent way” (v. 31). Different gifts, he said. Different ways of serving. Different activities. But “the same God who activates all of them in everyone.”

Should everyone be a Gray Panther? You tell me. Everyone come on Saturdays to “Sittin’ and Knittin’”?  Ooo-wee. Needles for some, needle-nose pliers for others – and we’ll be fine. Want everyone to sing in the choir? The “joyful noise” would just be “noise.”

Nineteen hundred years after Paul, Jewish theologian Martin Buber summed up our entire reading from 1 Corinthians 12 in two lines. He said,

“God made so many different kinds of people,

why would he allow only one way to serve him?”

Consider the apostles. Twelve of ‘em – with so much variety, it’s amazing they all could sit at one table, or follow the same leader.

Matthew starts the list with “Simon, also known as Peter.” Most translations point out that “Peter” is Hebrew for “Rock.” Later, Jesus says, “You are Peter, and on this rock, I will build my church” (Matthew 16:18). It’s a pun.

But at least one modern translation puts the “rock” inside Simon Peter’s head, and calls him “Blockhead” because he was so dense about everything Jesus said.

After Simon (and Andrew), we get James and John. Matthew calls them “the sons of Zebedee” (the name of their father).  But Mark calls them “Boanerges” – sons of thunder – like they were always raising a ruckus. Making noise.  Rowdies. The kind of guys who don’t know when to cut it out.

Imagine sitting by them in church – once! Or one as a deacon and another as an elder!

Next come Philip, Bartholomew and Thomas. Don’t know much about them. Well, Thomas was famous for doubting. He always needed some kind of proof. I guess that’s a spiritual gift!

Then Matthew. Tax collector.  He worked for Rome. Tax collectors kept the people of Jerusalem poor and oppressed, and Rome happy. Talk about “variety of gifts”! Who brought him to the party?

Then James (son of Alphaeus). And Thaddeus. No offense, but in Acts 1, where the list of disciples is repeated, Thaddeus misses the cut! What gives? Does Jesus need someone who’s an eager beaver one minute and AWOL the next? “Variety of gifts”? Maybe. Not everyone will commit as much time to church as you do.

And after Thaddeus, another Simon. Not Simon the Blockhead, but Simon the Cananaean.

When God brought Israel into the Promised Land, God ordered them to kill all the Cananaeans! Wipe ‘em out, so they wouldn’t marry the Israelite’s widows and daughters and win them over to their gods and idols.

Looks like they missed one. But how does he get in the picture?

You see where I’m going. The proud group around Jesus isn’t so proud when we know them. They look perfectly normal … till you meet them.

… Just like the deacons and elders we’ll ordain and install today. Or the old ones. Or folks you find in any gathering of the people of God. But more extreme.

Variety, not conformity. With only the grace of God to hold the whole ball of wax together.

Oh, Simon the Cananaean. Guess what? In Luke 6, he gets another name: “Zealot.” The Zealots were violent subversives. They wanted to overthrow the Romans. They were the terrorists of their time.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” So why didn’t he check the man’s credentials at the door? If airport security existed back then, Simon-the-Canan­aean-Zealot would have been on somebody’s watch list. He would have been detained for questioning. But somehow he added to the “variety of gifts” Jesus wanted and needed among his disciples. Maybe he stood for God’s desire for the whole world to inherit the kingdom of heaven.

… Which brings me to the last guy on the list. Judas.  Iscariot. Need I say more? If Jesus could take him on as a disciple, is anyone left out? Is anyone so despicable and unworthy as to miss out on the variety of gifts altogether? I guess not.

I looked up “Iscariot” in my Bible Dictionary. I found out that scholars disagree on what the word means. It might mean, “Man from Karioth” (a village in Judea). That would make him the only disciple not from Galilee. Variety of gifts, anyone?

Others say the name has to do with strangling, in which case it would have been given to Judas after his death, because of the way he died. Even more chilling, Iscariot might mean “The Assassin.”

You did not elect, and we will not ordain, anyone like that. Compared to the twelve disciples, our deacons and elders are pretty normal. Aren’t they?

Till you know them! The truth is, all of our officers bring their own talents, gifts and abilities. Idiosyncrasies, too – just like the pastors who serve with them. And quirks, tics, habits, eccentricities, follies and foibles, which we are yet to discover.

That’ll keep things interesting, because, no matter what they bring to the table, God will find ways to use them.

What matters finally – the only thing that matters – is that they serve the same Lord. We serve the same Lord, you and I and they together.   Pastors and members, ordained and lay, the sitters … and the knitters, calm and rowdy, Gray Panthers and people who don’t know which end of a screwdriver to hold, talented musicians and those who can’t carry a tune in a bucket … we are all called to one grand, boisterous ministry!

Called – by Christ, for God, through the Spirit … and equipped to love each other and this whole earthquake-ravaged world. Called – to sing and pray and learn and listen and hope with all our might … to laugh and cry … bring our wounds and bandage up others’ … and to make room for each other till we are as diverse and alive as the whole variety of gifts God has lavished on us, and our work is complete – except the part that can never be finished … which is to join the multitude of heaven, offering unceasing, everlasting praise …

To the glory of God.